Turning a New Leaf in the New Year: My Journey from Struggle to Strength
Laurence Tabanao Gayao MD, FAAFP, BCEM
As the New Year approaches, I often find myself reflecting deeply on where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’m headed. This reflection is more than just the usual end-of-year contemplation; it’s personal and profound. One year ago, at this very time, I was grappling with significant health issues that seemed insurmountable. I had just undergone a major surgery, and four months later, I was still far from recovery. I was weak, frail, and struggling to even take care of myself. I could hardly get through the day without feeling utterly exhausted.
It was a time of great uncertainty and fear. In the midst of my physical weakness, I also found myself confronting emotional and mental challenges. One of the most difficult parts of my recovery was dealing with the paralysis of my vocal cords, which had left me with a severe speech impediment. Communication, something we often take for granted, became a daily struggle. I couldn’t express myself the way I wanted to, and even the simplest conversations felt like a mountain to climb.
But it was during this incredibly tough time that I made a resolution to myself: I would fight, not just to get better, but to rebuild my life in a way that made me proud. I promised myself that, no matter how slow the progress or how painful the journey, I would work hard and systematically to regain my independence. And that included improving my speech, regaining strength, and ultimately reclaiming my life.
A Slow and Arduous Process: The Road to Recovery
When you’re recovering from something as serious as an open surgery, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. It’s easy to focus on how far you have to go rather than how far you’ve come. I could barely walk without help, let alone carry out basic tasks that most people take for granted. I spent most of my days exhausted, unable to do much more than rest and try to heal. But there was something within me, a small flicker of hope, that kept me going. I knew that if I worked at it, day by day, I could regain the strength I had lost. And with God’s help, I held onto that hope.
The recovery was slow. There were no shortcuts, no miracle cures—just hard work and determination. I began by setting small, achievable goals. I focused on strengthening my body little by little, pushing through the fatigue, even when it felt like I wasn’t making any progress. Every small victory mattered: walking a little farther, speaking a little clearer, lifting a slightly heavier weight. These were my milestones, and each one fueled my motivation to continue.
The recovery was physically grueling and mentally exhausting. I had to fight through the frustration of being unable to communicate the way I wanted. But every therapy session, every exercise, every prayer was a step toward healing. And slowly, the fog of illness started to lift.
The Power of Consistency and Faith
One of the most significant parts of my recovery was my commitment to physical fitness. It became my anchor. I spent hours in the gym—an hour, five times a week—pushing myself to get stronger, to rebuild what I had lost. The process was not easy, but it was deeply satisfying. The consistency, the discipline, the sheer effort of pushing through the pain—it all paid off.
I also adhered strictly to a dietary regimen, knowing that what I put into my body would directly impact my recovery. Nutrition became as important as the workouts. Every meal was an opportunity to fuel my body, to give it the energy it needed to heal and grow stronger. It wasn’t just about lifting weights or working out; it was about nourishing my body from the inside out, respecting it, and giving it what it needed to thrive.
And through all of this—through the setbacks, the small triumphs, the days of doubt—I never lost sight of the faith that kept me grounded. God’s presence was with me every step of the way, providing strength when I thought I couldn’t go on, giving me peace when the road felt too long. I didn’t know what the future held, but I knew I wasn’t alone in my journey.
Back to Whole: Enjoying Life Again
As I look back on the past year, I am filled with a sense of gratitude. It wasn’t easy. There were times when I felt like giving up, when the pain was too much, when the progress seemed too slow. But with time, patience, and an unwavering belief in my ability to heal, I am now almost whole again. I can speak more clearly, I have my strength back, and most importantly, I can enjoy life in ways I never thought possible a year ago.
I’m not just surviving anymore—I’m living. I’ve found joy in the things I once took for granted: a long walk, a conversation with a friend, a day spent feeling strong and healthy. The gym, once a place of struggle, has become a place of empowerment. I now look forward to each workout, each session, knowing that every drop of sweat is a reminder of how far I’ve come.
I’ve learned that healing isn’t linear, and that true recovery—whether physical, emotional, or spiritual—is a process. There were moments when I doubted myself, when the journey felt endless. But I kept going, one day at a time, one step at a time. And now, looking back, I see how far I’ve come.
A New Leaf: What This Means for Me
Turning a new leaf for me, this year, is more than just setting resolutions or making promises to improve. It’s about honoring the strength and resilience I discovered within myself, even when I felt like I had nothing left to give. It’s about acknowledging the struggles, but also celebrating the victories—the small steps that led to big changes.
As I step into the New Year, I carry with me the lessons learned from this journey: that change takes time, that patience is key, that hard work and consistency pay off, and that faith can move mountains. I’ve learned that even in the most difficult moments, there is always hope, and there is always a way forward.
So, as we all turn our new leaves in the coming year, I encourage you to reflect on your own journey. Think about the obstacles you’ve overcome, the strength you’ve built, and the goals that are within your reach. Know that no matter how slow the progress, or how many setbacks you face, you are capable of incredible transformation.
If I can rebuild my strength, regain my independence, and rediscover joy in my life, I know you can, too. Here’s to turning the page, embracing the possibilities of a new year, and continuing the journey toward becoming the best version of ourselves.
